Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in highonlife05's LiveJournal:

Saturday, December 4th, 2004
9:13 pm	Sometimes...I wonder if everything is worth what it seams. I have learned that i care too much about other People. I've learned that only I can make things better for myself.I've learned that love isn't always easy. I've learned to keep my emotions to myself,becuse the people that I thought would care about me don't.I've learned to keep quiet about things. about myself. i've learned not to open up. i've learned that if i want something, i probably wont get it. i've learned that the world isn't fair. i've learned who i want to be. i've learned that i dont know who i am. i've learned that i tend to jump into things. i've learned that i say too much. i've learned that i over-analyze things. i've learned that i dream too much. i've learned that i run with emotions. i've learned that i get hurt far too often. i've learned that i wear my heart on my sleeve. i've learned that that's Dangerous.Yet i still do it, maybe i haven't learned at all.  Why do i care about making EVERYONE happy. When is it my turn for people to care what I think? Sometimes...I just want to get in a car and drive away. Never come back and never talk to anyone ever again. Would they even know that i was gone? Sometimes....I just sit and watch life from the sidelines. Its amazing to hear people with no problems complain about stupid pointless shit. I hate highschool so much...people are so immature and stupid. I can't wait for people to grow up. Or maybe it's my fault. Maybe i shouldn't have grown up so fast. I wish i had someone to talk to. Its fucking sad that i have to write to a stupid web page to vent. I only have one person that i can talk to about stuff like this. but i dont want to burden them with all my problems. They shouldn't have to hear me complain about stuff. I love them so much. But maybe if they knew half of my problems...they wouldn't  love me anymore. I told you i wasn't perfect. I don't want to lose you. I have so much more to learn. Current Mood: depressed (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 20th, 2004
9:28 pm	So...I haven't written in this thing if forever, so, here I am. School is going very well so far... I am a little nervous however about life after Highschool. Not only do I need to figure out what College I want to go to, but it's going to be a very sad day when it comes time to leave all of you guys, my friends, behind. I tried that once earlier last year, and it was horrible. Not to mention I was in a relationship with someone that I really care about and it was all ruined.  I wish there was a way to fix that. Its really hard to look at you sometimes, cause I wish that we were still together. I wish I knew how you felt.  Back to the topic. I am also really excited to go home and live with my family though... while at the same time, I will be leaving another one behind. Speaking of which, I just returned yesterday at around 3o'clock from Orlando Florida. My Dad made chief. I am very proud of him, he has worked so hard to get where he is now. It was good to see my family again. You don't know how much they mean to you until your away from them. Its not like we could be any farther apart and still be in the U.S. either.    Pasco is comming up...I am really excited about it. The bus ride and sleeping in the gym is going to be so much fun. I can't wait. I think that the band is looking very good at this time of the year, so maybe we will do well at the competition. *cross your fingers* Well...I'm sick, so I am going to go to bed now. Hope everyone sleeps well tonight. I will see you guys in the morning. Good night  Josh Current Mood: drained (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
9:21 pm	MaZe ToMoRrOw!! Tomorrow is the MAZE!! how exciting is that...only its not exciting at all... I have to be there at the butt crack of dawn, that way, I can still be on time to band camp... JOY! OH well...I'll survive. So band camp was ... eh.....ok today. It was another freakin hot day, and we hardly got any breaks ... ,as usual, to get water, but hey...it would be worse. I can't believe this summer is goin by so fast, not much longer till we are back in school and doin stupid homework  :(    Today for dinner, We went to Holly D's house. It was good..we had "mexican food" (really it was just burritos)...but what ev' . I don't know who's house we go to tomorrow...I think its Sean's.  Brandon...HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GOIN TO WIN THE SLUT CONTEST WHEN YOUR PEALING AWAY.... god...we have TONS OF WORK TO DO.     Katelyn....YOU'RE GOIN DOWN!!!! well...thats it for tonight...sleep well everyone...and i will see you tomorrow.     Josh Current Mood: chipper (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, August 16th, 2004
9:50 pm	Just another day. So today was a good day... It was nice and cool in the morning..but then it got so damn hot and then it was hot and sunny and raining at the same time.... how crazy is that?  So we are on are last week of band camp...I can't wait till its over though..its gonna be awesome. I'll be able to hang out with friends other than the time we have at band camp. So at lunch.... Brandon, Katelyn , Corinne and I wen't to McDonalds for lunch...that was a blast and then for dinner, I had  Sarah, Sean, Jessica, Kevin, Holly, and then Jamie and Stephen and Ian showed up... oh yeah..missy and keith were there also.  It was fun.  Well..there isn't much else to say... I guess I will ttyl later...BYE   Current Mood: flirty Current Music: ThE mAsK oF zOrRo (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 12th, 2004
10:00 pm	Life is just too crazy sometimes SO...I had this other livejournal account..but it sucked really bad and it wasn't what i wanted...so I decided to start a new one. So here it is...and if you don't like it ... TOO DAMN BAD!!!   Well...this week has been very busy. We started band camp on tuesday and its going really well so far. I was kinda worried that we would have a bunch of stupid, dorky, immature sophomores that thought they were hot shit, however...there aren't any. Its actually really awesome. Sometimes I forget that I am a SENIOR!!!! I'm really excited, but very sad about leaving all my friends behind. ANYWAYS.....band camp is goin well...and I like all my sophomore trumpet players. This summer has been really awesome and busy. I have been gone for almost all of it and for some odd reason..im not very sad that i didn't get to see my friends that much. I mean...i am but im not..I used this summer to focus on my self and get things straightend out. I used it to find out alot about myself that I didn't know...eventhough that sounds really stupid ...its true. I was with my family for a good portion of the summer and I had the best of times with them. we went to a wedding in Kentuky that I wasn't so thrilled about however...but we still managed to have a good time. When I got back...I left for a camp for people with disabilities and it was one of the best things that I could have ever done for myself. It gives you a new aspect on life and makes you realize how lucky you are to live your live in the state that you can. I worked with people that didn't know the color of their own hair or belongings because they were blind, to people that were completely paralized and couldn't do anything for themselves, and to have to learn sign language to be able to communicate with people. It was really sad and hard to talk to some of them though because they would tell me how when they go out in public, people would stare at them just because they are "different". They don't worry about stupid things that "normal" people such as you and I do, such as their weight or highlighting their hair or cellphones or even t.v for that matter... most of them are just happy to be able to wake up one more day and be able to live life the best they can. And while I am working at this camp, we are away from it all...t.v, society... it's only the counselors, such as myself, and the campers. And its like your own little community thats free of the real worlds challenges and you realize that just because they have a disability, they are still just like you and me. They have feelings, intrests, have crushes and go through heart break just like you and I. All they want is for someone to pay attention to them and listen to what they have to say. And I must addmit, when you have campers crying in your arms because your leaving, it feels really good to know that you made a difference in a couple peoples lifes. WeLl...its late and time to go to bed...goodnight.. (Comment on this)